Judy Aulich – Canberra Marriage Celebrant – Blog

All ceremonies have their charm, but Tegan and Amay’s was something else.  It was to be held at the bride’s parents farm, first there was to be a Hindu ceremony, representing the culture of the groom,  followed by a civil ceremony, which was where I came in. I will do my best to describe the setting.

The family home was surrounded by beautiful park like gardens, rambling paths and walkways leading to perfect hidden spaces with seats or sculptures, vast flower beds, open lawn areas. The first lawn area was set up like  a fair ground, with dodgem cars, (yes, just like at the show), slushie and popcorn machines and fun things to do. There was a bar area close to the house with cafe tables and chairs so guests could relax with their drinks as photos were taken.

The Hindu ceremony took place under a traditional canopy.  The bride and groom were dressed in traditional dress and Tegan had the palms of her hands decorated intricately in henna.   After the 45 minute ceremony and some photos, the wedidng party disappeared in side to change. Guests  roamed through the gardens to another site, a natural amphi theatre with the end of each row of chairs at the aisle marked by a single tall  sunflower  growing  in a pot which had been embedded into the ground.

For the civil ceremony the bride had changed in to a white wedding gown and the men wore suits.  Tegan walked down the steep slope between the sun flowers on the arm of her father, preceeded by her brother and mother and bridesmaids as a piano was played. Amay looked just a bit awe struck. The ceremony was warm and heart felt and the guests loved that they had a few ‘will we, won’t we’  moments after I pronounced them husband and wife before they managed to coordinate a kiss.  Most couples now don’t really wait for permission to have a kiss. They just get into it.

But there was little hitch.  Just after the rings the microphone decided to go on strike.  I was using theirs, not mine which runs on batteries, and I think someone had accidently knocked a cord loose from the power source.   Tegan and Amay looked a bit down cast for just a moment but I assured them it was no problem. Thank goodness for all that practice taking assemblies in a school hall with 300 kids in my previous life as a Deputy Principal, when you could never rely on the microphone working.  Actors and teachers can project their voices.  And I did. Even though it was a very large crowd those at the back told me later they had heard clearly.

Their “perfect day’, as they referred to it later, concluded with a sit down dinner in a marquee finishing, I imagine, with those dodgem cars. A really spectacular wedding.

Bec and Matt were never going to have a conventional ceremony. They just wanted to have fun and entertain their guests, so they could all have a laugh. They started from the examples I gave them and really made them their own. Not much preamble, just the legal requirements, then heart -felt (as they should be) but also really funny long vows. We finished off with a check list, eg, bride and groom looking happy; vows exchanged; papers signed and so on. There was so much laughter which is just what they wanted.

It is the celebrant’s job to make sure that clients have the ceremony they imagined and want. And as long as legal requirements are covered it is an open page really. It needs to be dignified, not silly or frivolous, because it is a serious thing that is happening, but handled properly that  doesn’t rule out having a fun time.

The photo above shows me hamming it up for the group photo,  pretending it was all about me and standing in front of everyone else.  I only did so for the briefest moment, but Steven Murray from Creative Image Photography,  the consummate professional and perfect photographer to pick for a fun wedding, saw the brief moment, focussed and clicked. And here it is.

There are many different rituals that can be part of a marriage ceremony and Tegan and Ian chose to release two white doves. They were delivered before the ceremony in a spectacular white cage by Helen from Doves Away and and placed on the signing table. After the rings, as I began talking about them, she gently placed them in Tegan and Ian’s hands and they released them together. The symbolism is very fitting as doves mate for life and each evening return to their coop with their mate.

That is what these doves did, flying through the trees over the guests heads, circling to get their bearings then flying home together. It really is always an ooh/aah moment for guests. And I know what you are thinking. No, they don’t!  Not even a little bit. They are fed very well after they return, never before they come!

You can put a wedding together in a very short time.

Matt and Lucy planned theirs in just over three weeks and it was quite beautiful.  Usually, a couple must give four weeks notice before they can marry, but it is possible to apply for a shortening of time if you have an appropriate reason and that was the case with Matt and Lucy.

The ceremony was held in the garden of Matt’s parents, with a long table set out under the pergola for the most delicious smelling lunch with the close family, followed up by a picnic for all their friends in a park. It was simple but lovely, with Matt surprising Lucy by singing to her (a bit like a wandering minstrel) as she walked in. It helps, of course, if you are a handsome music teacher with a fabulous voice and can also play the guitar!

Best wishes Matt and Lucy  for a fabulous time in Bhutan.

I always point out to my clients that they are not at the Canberra Theatre doing a performance, but having a ceremony. Of course, there are elements that seem similar but there is so much good will at a wedding that it is hard to go wrong. Raining and a wet  weather option is fine, even if not perfect, vows that the bride and groom struggle to get out and have to be repeated and the guests love it, tears and the guests love it, no tears and the guests still love it. Slightly late, (only slightly mind!) and we can cope.

But it was just a bit more problematic when Luke, Jess’ brother came to me minutes before the bride was to arrive,  to tell me he had left the rings back at the hotel!  Not good, not good at all. He was mortified and couldn’t bring himself to break the news to Cliff. So I offered to tell Cliff with him.  Cliff was the perfect, calm groom, there was no drama but quite a bit of disbelief. And we immediately got to work  at problem solving.  Borrowed rings was the way to go. We decided that Cliff would borrow his father’s ring for Jess to give him and Jess could use her mother’s ring for Cliff to give her.  A lovely solution.  The only thing yet to decide was would we fudge it and not let on, or tell the guests.

There was no way  Cliff would make that decision and it was to be left to Jess. So as the photographer was smiling and wishing me good luck, I went outside the beautiful Boat House to meet the car and break the news. Jess was almost as calm as Cliff once her first reaction (‘I’ll kill him!’) had passed. She wanted me to decide whether to tell or not, but I refused to.  It had to be what she wanted, not what I thought would be best.  She decided we would own up and let people know, which is exactly what I would have chosen. It meant the whole ceremony wasn’t ruined for Luke wondering if it would be noticed and he would be found out and keeping it quiet seemed to give it too much importance.

So when we got to that part of the ceremony I explained and we all had a laugh.  It will be part of the story of their wedding day, Luke will have been mercilessly paid out at the reception, the bride and groom had a special moment exchanging their parent’s rings, mum and dad both found that moment special and  the show went on, not at all spoiled by Luke’s forgetfulness. There is very little that can’t be solved with a bit of ingenuity.

Cliff and Jess, I hope you are having a superb honeymoon and thanks for being one of my most memorable couples.

It is always special to marry an ex student and they always get mates rates.

I taught Tina when she was in Year 6. Her mother had also been a colleague for several years. Tina is now a PhD student at ANU and I was very happy to let all the guests know that I was quite convinced that her academic success was due to the gifted teacher she had in Year 6!

TIna and Brian married in a rustic setting at  Shaw Winery at Murrumbateman, in the paddock, with guests sitting on hay bales. It was a romantic start to their lives together.

Sometimes ‘quickies’ can be just as much fun for everyone. It is not necessarily the length of the ceremony that determines the atmosphere.  This ceremony was in a beautiful courtyard, and well, quick, but  absolutely filled with emotion with some lovely improvistion during the vows. Low key but just what this couple  wanted, relaxed, joyful and heartfelt.

The 2012 wedding season is now in full swing and having arrived back from NYC just a few weeks ago I have had to hit the ground running!  There have been many lovely, fun, happy  weddings.

Craig and Phoebe married under the big tree at Poachers Pantry and arrived together on a flower bedecked Vespa.  It helps if you have a musical family and in this case family members, professional musicians and singers played and sang superbly. The first thing this couple did as man and wife was to sing together with Craig’s guitar accompaniment, with the guests all joining in on kazoos with Phoebe conducting. Every time I looked over at the photographer she was laughing as much as the rest of us but I am sure she will have got some fabulous photos that captured this fun moment.

Gundaroo is a small village only 30 minutes from Canberra and has a simple, traditional, intimate, quite rustic church which is available for civil ceremonies.    It can be cold in winter though and may need several portable heaters to take the chill off the air.

This is where Penina and Scott decided to marry. Their nine year old nephew  rang the church bells as soon as I pronounced them husband and wife.  There are no official photos yet as they are still  honeymooning in the States but they emailed to say, ‘We thought your contribution to our wedding was excellent — it was professional, generous, helpful, and you struck exactly the tone we were looking for.’

Ceremonies come in many varieties. Some couples want quite formal and traditional, and others prefer something more  relaxed and fun. It’s the celebrant’s job to make sure that the ceremony reflects the wishes of the couple and strikes the right tone for them. Of course, we all have our signature style, but being flexible is part of the job.  And what a fun job it is!

Photo soon.

Judy

Recently, I was asked by the Canberra Times how the age of my grooms compared with the recent figures from the ABS that male grooms in the ACT are  slightly younger than the national average.   They also wanted to know the age range of my grooms.  My oldest was 74 and my youngest only 20.  Marriage isn’t just for the young.

Helen and Mark  are an example of the joy in finding someone you want to spend the rest of your life with even after you have lived a considerable part of it.  They recently wrote to me detailing some of the challenges they have faced since their  wedding.

Helen finished by saying, ‘So, in short, the old guys are still struggling along… despite everything, we are still very much in love and happy!’

I wish them all the very best.

Judy

Photo soon.